The First Kiss

Yesterday, while bored and whiling away the time at the end of the work day, I decided to fill out a few of those Myspace surveys that annoy everyone, but everyone fills out on occasion anyway. One of the questions was "Where did you first kiss the last person you kissed?" And since the last person I kissed was my boyfriend, it sent me WAYYYYYY back down memory lane...

See, I met my boyfriend way back in highschool, when I was a mere freshman. (Complete with goony braces AND glasses...ick!) At the time, he was dating a girl who rode my school bus, and I had a HUGE crush on one of his friends. By the end of freshman year, I was dating his friend, and had developed a nice friendship with him as well. Fast forward to sophomore year: I finally broke up with the friend for good (after a couple break up/make up moments), finally had my braces off, and developed a huge crush (well let's face it, I always thought he was HOT) on my current beau, who at the time had just broken up with his girlfriend as well. Since we were already friends, and shared a study hall, we'd taken to skipping a few classes a day together and just wandering around the school talking. Well, on one of those days, he finally admitted to thinking I was cute, and I of course told him I liked him too. Which, obviously, led to THE moment. Our eyes connected, while we were sitting on the steps next to the music classrooms. It was spring, and the sun was shining through the windows of the doors at the end of the stairs. He leaned closer... and our lips met for the very first time. He was an incredible kisser (not that I'd had much experience at that time...LOL), and my hands ended up playing with his mohawk as we continued to stay locked at the lips for the remainder of the class period. We "dated" for a month after that...in which time I discovered that his "ex" was preggo with his kid, and my parents had me on permanent lockdown thus hanging out outside of skipping class made any kind of "relationship" difficult, so we parted ways but remained friends. (except for a two year hiatus in which we were mortal enemies....long story). We ended up re-meeting last September and have been attached at the hip ever since.

Yesterday, as we were driving around, I mentioned something to him about that question on the survey, and asked "Do you even remember where we first kissed?" And he replied "Yeah, it was in the hall by the music rooms one day when I convinced you to skip class with me. You were so cute with your short little hair and glasses." I melted. And fell even more in love with him.


A Flower

A flower that is proof I have the most wonderful boyfriend in the world =) He picked it for me (stole it from someone's bush actually) while we strolled about town, me rather bitchily. He did his best to cheer me up, which included this beautiful flower (I wish I knew what kind it was...enlighten me if you know!!). He even helped me move my bed into my larger bedroom, so my pink room can be turned into my official craft room (including cleaning up my bedroom in the process).

And yesterday, my sister finally came to pick up my first "shipment" of jewelry goodness for the day spa she works in! I'm so excited to be selling my jewelry in a real-life shop, where people can actually touch and try on my creations before deciding to buy. I just hope people WANT to buy, though from the several custom orders I've already received from my sister's coworkers, that shouldn't be a problem at all =) The line of jewelry I'm selling at the spa will vary from what is sold on my Etsy site, to be exclusive to the spa.

Keep watching my blog for pictures of my new line, and for a giveaway in the upcoming week!!


An Epiphany.

I'm really not a fan of the direction my life seems once again to be slipping into...a continual rut that caused most of the problems I had last summer. I don't want to find myself back in that place. But I can't help but feel trapped. Stuck in this day to day grind that is not only unfulfilling, but makes me retreat to the same self-destructive behaviors I thought I'd overcome. The people I managed to cut from my life because of those behaviors are starting to be the same kind of people I'm again surrounding myself with. I find myself afraid to be alone anymore...because I'm just not sure I'm strong enough to ignore certain cravings on my own. I don't know the last time I've felt like this. But it has to stop.

I decided today to fix these problems. I know I have a really strong (if somewhat overbearing) supportive family, and even if I can't tell them all exactly why I'm feeling how I'm feeling, and why I'm making the decisions I'm making, they will be there to back me up...to help me if I again fall.

And this time, I have a wonderfully supportive boyfriend to turn to, though many of my addictive behaviors and problems are mirrored in him, I feel that together we can overcome many of the mini-battles we're fighting constantly within ourselves. I know that I couldn't even begin to get things back together without his help and love.

There are a lot of changes happening in my life right now.
I just hope I can make them all for the better. And stop this recurring pattern of self-destruction before I mess up again...